Is Suffering Required For Spiritual Growth?

Before traveling 2,398 miles through 9 states within 6 days, my dear friend and I had 1 question buzzing in our brains: Is suffering required for spiritual growth?

In the modern time of internet, instant answers, quick communication and the ability to spread information like wildfire, some kids of my generation (thankfully) are working hard to unlearn a magnitude of rules and lessons that society has forcefully taught us.

Knowing that we would run into a decent variety of humans, we decided to tap into the wide pool of people that we could encounter while traveling across the U.S. and see what they had in mind. Surprisingly, we got the same response in asking this question in person as I got when I asked my Instagram community the same question. About sixty percent of people answered “yes” while forty percent answered “no”.

Here’s what one user had to say: “Yes but no, suffering is only a result of things ‘not going right’ or ‘making us feel certain ways’ but the only reason we feel those ways is being we are conditioned to. It’s like when you buy a phone and you crack the screen; you are only suffering because you attached yourself to an object that is not broken!”

(Thank you Sierra Liliann for your input!)

A LITTLE EXERCISE

Just ask yourself the question, just for a moment. Don’t think about it too hard. Don’t phone a friend. Just let your answer, (whatever the most immediate one that reveals itself to your  brain) hangout there… because that is probably your truest belief in this moment. With that being said, that belief that you hold most likely stems into your thoughts, words, and actions, placing it in the driver’s seat of what you think, say, and do.

(Let me give you a hint: there’s no right or wrong answer. It’s just a question!)

The magic of this question is that simply considering the answers can help to reduce suffering in your life. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. How? It asks you to look deeper into your own everyday experience and see where you have room to cut out extra suffering, induced by your own self. Once you dare to ask this question, ponder it, and even wonder if “no” could be the answer, maybe a little part of you wants to make that “no” a reality. When I started to more deeply question this myself, I started considering all of the ways that I ask myself to suffer more than is required (if it is even required at all) in the name of spiritual growth.

QUESTIONING THE QUESTION

Before we even get into it, though, I would like to clarify something: the question is not “will we suffer?” or “can we avoid suffering?”. We know that we will suffer. We’re all born into different bodies, with different challenges, different privileges, and different life circumstances, asking us all to experience our time here on Earth in completely different ways. There are some HUGE and deadly problems that humans and this planet are facing right now. No two beings will have the same exact experience. That is abundantly clear. But, is the suffering that we put ourselves through a requirement for spiritual growth? Or, another way to ask the question is, do we create more suffering than already exists and tell ourselves that it is necessary because it is easy for us? Do we take situations that can be pain free and add in an extra shot of suffering “just because”? Do we ask ourselves to suffer in the name of personal growth?

I came up with quite a long list of ways that I choose to take an extra scoop of suffering when visiting the buffet of choices each day. I do this by letting my feelings get sucked a certain way- forgetting my unique power and control over them, by letting general anxiety induce panic in a completely unnecessary way when there is nothing to truly fear, by letting social anxiety pulse nervous and clouded energy into my body when facing new situation, and by focusing what others have to say/think about me more than what I have to say/think about myself. And oh my friend, the list doesn’t stop there. I have induced suffering in my own life by continuing the constant stream of negative self-talk in my head, by putting my needs last and everyone else’s first for an unhealthy amount of time, and by not doing what’s right for my physical health even though I know what to do. The list goes on and on and on, as you can see. The final and largest current causes of suffering, personally in my life, go as follows: not valuing my work and refusing to create to my fullest potential, repeating negative habits/patterns in my life that I know how to discontinue, and not accepting help when it is needed. (I would also like to add that I am extremely privileged to say that these are the biggest points of suffering in my life right now!)

THE CHOICE

These are some of the ways that I create rivers of suffering when they could just be mere puddles in my path; an opportunity to jump, run, and get my boots wet while the storm is passing. Even considering this question is scary- if the answer is “no” then must we change?

Can you pin this list to anyone in your life, or yourself by chance? I think that most people would relate to a few of those examples mentioned (if not all). We were brought up in a society that values brutal hard work and emotional suffering to the highest degree. We live in a world where someone is more likely to take the hard road and make it harder because we have learned that suffering is required to get us where we need or want to go.

Let’s get one thing straight… I am not saying that hard work isn’t valuable. And I am not saying that it shouldn’t go unrecognized or be unvalued. No, no. I also understand that privilege and other circumstances in our life create different obstacles. I’m just saying that it would be more valuable if we created a society (because it is totally possible) were people didn’t have to live in a constant state of work and be in “just trying to stay alive” 75% or more of the day.

Even if we are put in some tough situations and circumstances, we can always ask, “how can I make this less painful”? How can I reduce or remove this suffering? How can I, in the crack of every moment, create a lighter and less painful situation with whatever I am doing? On the other hand, sometimes it does seem that there may not be away to avoid or reduce the suffering. Or maybe the relief isn’t immediate or seems out of reach. Like I said, I don’t have all the answers here… I am just asking you to ask the important question.

THE MARIO CART RAINBOW BOOST
ADVANTAGE

So, let’s go over the question again: Is suffering REQUIRED for spiritual growth? REQUIRED. I am not asking if it is helpful for growth, or, does it teach us big life lessons, or is it an important part of the path? That’s an entirely different question.

If we’re asking that question, then I think, yes. Suffering can be (as my dear road-trip partner and friend said) the magical rainbow track that you hit on Mario cart that sends you flying through the air at an uncontrollable speed but boosts you farther ahead in the race. Indeed, suffering can speed up our learning processes, teaching us things that we may not have learned had they not happened. (Admittedly, I usually lose control when I hit the rainbow strips and go too fast, causing me to fall off the edge entirely and start again. Some folks know how to stay in control, though, and use that power to their advantage!)

But is suffering required for spiritual growth?

My answer: No.

I do not believe that suffering is required for spiritual growth.

Most of the folks who answered “yes” when asked this question on our trip across the country, through further conversation, admitted that they were “stubborn” and wouldn’t have learned what they did through their personal history without this mean old pal dragging them down. That for them, the suffering was required to forcefully push them where they needed to go; to learn the lessons that they “needed” to learn. I do want to point out that they made up that rule for themselves.

But for others, who answered the same as I did, they believed that the suffering was not required for spiritual growth… that it is a personal choice to be stubborn when life tries to pull you in some uncomfortable direction while asking you to bloom.

They believe that you can at least attempt to embrace whatever is happening, create the least amount of suffering, and ride the wave. That YOU are sometimes the one standing in your way when faced with a challenge and given the option to grow or painfully go down, kicking and screaming the whole bloody way.

Are you down for the ride?

Listen to the podcast created during the cross-country road trip 

by Rivers Wilder Green & Unruly Traveller.

#HappyTravels!